Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Why gender norms exist?
I was in line today at the Chick Fil A in LBJ. I'm waiting there for fries and next to me is a very pretty girl and two guys. She's holding a tray with food on it and the two boys put their food on her tray and she says "Hey! Why the hell do I have to carry these? I'm the girl." I just kind of stood there, confused and in awe of what came out of her mouth. I thought this went perfectly with this blog assignment. Why did she feel like she was entitled to not carry a tray of food? Maybe she was simply lazy and didn't want to carry it, or was it because she thought her femininity entitled her to not to? It's like when ever a woman walks out the door and a man opens it. Now when I walk out of any set of doors and someone is walking in or out, I will hold the door regardless of gender. Now in regards to why gender norms exist, I think it is because from the start, it's human nature to categorize things that we see and experience. So from birth, it's human nature to categorize the gender of the baby. Blue for boys, pink for girls. From then on, the categorization keeps happening. You see "boy things" and "girl stuff" because we're in the state of mind to categorize things. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's right. When kids are growing up, it's important that they create their own identity. And by gendering items, it hiders individuality because children are scared to try something that carries the possibility of standing out because of the fear of being picked on. Gender norms make people feel safe and I really think that hinders individuality, and it makes people think they have to do certain things or act a certain way, when being yourself is absolutely fine.
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Honestly I really like how you wrote this article, and the example you gave about the girl in the Chick Fila line. I totally agree with you on everything you said, especially when you said that you hold doors open for anyone no matter their gender, because I do the exact same; to me its common courtesy. In the article Learning to Be Gendered the author states that gender norms only really exist during the early stages of life, which is true but I feel like that shapes us to be the person we are today, whether that’s one that is gender neutral or one sided. I honestly find it fascinating that men are still the main ones that are suppose to keep the family stable and have a house to stay in, when many single moms keep their house warm and food on the table everyday. When you said that boys and girls have specific colors at baby showers, and in general, made me realize that we really do, even though there are other colors that you could use instead. We always go back to the basics and what we’re use to, because we are comfortable with how we do certain things.
ReplyDeleteKristin, I agree with pretty much everything you said here. I think the girl at chick fil a is a hilarious example of people carrying on gender norms everyday and probably without even realizing it. Boys are taught to be polite and to carry things for girls, and girls are taught that all nice boys should do that. While I don't think it's a bad idea to do polite things for other people, I think strictly enforcing the idea that girls and boys have specific roles to fill in a public setting is a bit outdated. Penelope and Sally, who wrote "Learning to be Gendered", mentioned the roles that boys and girls are expected to fill by their parents and even by their teachers. When children are not even able to speak yet parents are dressing them certain ways and rewarding certain behaviors depending on the gender of the child. In the society that we are currently living in, I think it's important that children can grow up feeling free to be whoever they want to be, speak however they want to speak, dress how they like, and do all these things without judgement.
ReplyDeleteI really agree with your post. I liked that you used your Chick Fil A example, because it is an example of a real life thing. It shows that gender norms really do exist.I liked when you said that you think gender norms exist because from the start "its human nature to categorize things that we see and experience." We totally categorize gender of babies, its always blue for boys and pink for girls, and it will probably be like that for a while, just because it has been that way for so long, and people are scared of change. I also think it not right to categorize babies, because like you say it "hinders individuality". With gender norms, people will be scared to be who they want to be. They will feel different, or judged if they do what they want to do, or dress how they want to dress. I remember when my brother was younger, my mom bought him a light pink dress shirt and my brother was so shocked. He was like "I can't wear that! That’s a girl color!" The only reason he thought that was because of the gender norms, norms that have been there his whole life. So hopefully in the future, gender norms will start to fade away, so everyone can just be what they want to be, which is fine, like you said in the post.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your blog and agree with what you had to say about the gender norms we as girls (and guys) carry with us without even realizing it! I grew up in the south as I'm sure like most of the class did, so starting young we teach our boys and girls that boys do certain things that make them "gentleman" and girls are supposed to do things that make them "ladies". Now I don't disagree with that norm I grew up with, I do think that men should be respectful and open car doors for their women and help them carry things as a sign of love and respect, BUT I don't believe that women shouldn't be able to do things on their own. Sometimes I get so frustrated with my boyfriend because he tries to be such a gentleman and help me with everything that I begin to get irritated with him! I know that it is because he loves me and also because he believes that that is what a man should do, but it is in a way demeaning at times when I have bags of groceries in my arms and he tries to take them away from me because he "doesn't want me to hurt myself". Another thing I have noticed like several people pointed out is how we classify men and women by their names! I have a unisex name which means it can go for guys or girls, but my boyfriend and I have a close friend who is a 6ft muscular guy named Madison. Just this past weekend I experienced gender judgement from another friend of ours who said to me after I introduced them “What kind of mother would name their son Madison?”. I won’t lie I had this same thought when I first met him, but strangely enough after getting to know him I grew to really appreciate his name and even like it for a boy. It doesn’t take away from his masculinity or make me think any less of him, so why does it matter that someone decided to go out of the ordinary and name their son Madison? Just like in the article “Learning to Be Gendered” the author basically states how we like to categorize genders and make them black and white. We do this for babies before they are even born and can really grow into who they want to be. Don't get me wrong I do think that certain gender norms are okay, I think they help us by keeping a sense of what is what and who is who, but I also believe like you said gender norms can hinder individuality and progress. I also believe that it can even give you false ideas of what a man should be and how he should act like the girl in the Chick-Fil-A line had.
ReplyDeleteWhat you had to say about gender norms is spot on! Society has and always will categorize based on the outward appearance and so much of that appearance relies on the gender norms we have all become accustom to. I love when you said, “boy things” and “girl stuff” because even as young adolescents we have been trained to see the opposite genders belongings as just that. This reminds me of when I was younger and I wanted to play with the football like my two older brothers had been doing. My mom had told me at age 8 that, “young ladies don’t play with the dirty football”. It’s only until my older years that I began to look past what my mom had told me all those years ago. My own mother, although she obviously not meaning to, suppressed a part of me that wanted to just bond with my brothers the only way I knew how at the time. That was due to the idea that I needed to stay a ballerina type little girl and conform to the norms within society. So, I agree with you. I also believe that it is before birth that the gender we are identifies how we are expected to live and act towards others. These norms hinder and trap people from living how they wish to.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how you wrote your blog Kristin and the examples you used to illustrate a perfect situation. Like you I also hold the door for people, it does not matter if they are male or female I just see it as the correct and polite thing to do. By only hold the door open for a girl and not a guy in my opinion you are saying well I know your a girl and I would not want you to strain yourself opening a door. The author of "Learning to be Gendered" mentions that we really only have gender roles when we are adolescence or in early stages of our lives. I think we are assigned these gender norms or gender roles in this stage but these gender norms carry on through our teen years all the way to our adult lives. In the early stages of life our brain is like a sponge we absorb all of this information and if we are not told that this information is incorrect or does not necessarily have to be true then we go through life believing this is fact. Think about when a little girl plays with Barbies, from a young age she is taught to dress a certain way. When she plays pretend the same little girl tends to play a nurse, a teacher, or even a mom. All of these things will influence what she thinks it means to be a girl in the eyes of society.
ReplyDeleteI agreed completely with this whole blog! Even though we were brought up to believe that men should be the ones to hold open door and be gentlemen, we shouldn’t just expect it. Now a days, women are learning to be more independent and not rely on a man to do the hard jobs. For me, I don’t’ want the guy to do everything for me because I want to be strong and able to fend for myself. Relying on men will get you nowhere. And that is how men are gendered from the beginning. I also agree with you when you said children need to find their own identity from a young age. I have a gay aunt and she knew from a young age she was more tomboy than girly, but since girls are “suppose” to like dolls and wear pink she was hesitant to be herself. Like said in the article, “Gender is so deeply engrained in our social practice, in our understanding of ourselves and of others, that we cannot put one foot in front of the other without taking gender into consideration.” So yes, gender norms make people feel they can’t do what they feel they should do inside themselves.
ReplyDeleteReading this blog I realized how relevant gender norms actually are. I agree with everything you stated in this article: from gender norms being in human nature, to gender norms hindering individuality. I feel that there is a common curtesy towards women, and they have always been treated differently from men. Females have formed different mannerisms over time because of the treatment from men. They have the mindset that certain things should or shouldn’t apply to them because of their feministic ways, which is understandable because as a society we have set these norms in place. Our women are considered special and fragile, and to protect them we set up these gender norms. I agree that the categorization of gender is also a problem. People aren’t allowed to pick for themselves what is normal or not. It’s predestined. And like you said, it hinders individuality. It changes the norm of being yourself. People are now only allowed to act themselves to a certain extent. They are hesitant because of how society openly shows them what to do or how to act. I understand why these norms are in place, but as a society we do nothing to change this.
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